Perhaps There is Something to See
by ryoku1
Summary: Gilbert thinks something is wrong with Ludwig. Antonio is quite confused at the entire concept. How can you tell what someone is feeling if they never smile? Gakuen AU Spain/Germany


Antonio doesn't quite watch - cause his eyes are always glued to Lovi - love of his life, cutest thing that walked the earth- but Antonio does listen. He's a hopeless guy; there are plenty of things that go way over his head, but sometimes he gets it. It starts with Gilbert really, because despite all of Gilbert's faults – and even Antonio will admit there are quite a few – he remains the most dedicated and devoted older brother you're ever going to find. So it starts with Gilbert, because he's worried about Ludwig. No one else can tell, but Gilbert is convinced that his darling younger brother is not quite well.

Francis hums softly to himself when Gilbert mentions this, and the thought at first strikes Antonio as strange; he can't tell the difference from when Ludwig is angry or happy. The guy doesn't know how to smile, so looking doesn't help, though that evening while he thinks on the subject before he nods off, Antonio realizes that he's never really tried to tell when Ludwig is sad or happy.

Lovi is different; Antonio can tell that something is wrong just by looking at him. He's never sure exactly what it is, but he knows when Lovino is uncomfortable, or doesn't want to answer him. Lips tremble, blush spreads and he starts to look away, like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. It's adorable on his cute little Lovi - apple of his eye, best friend he never asked for – but Ludwig is a different matter. He doesn't smile. In fact he always looks perturbed, unhappy, discontented.

When Gilbert is concerned Antonio starts to think. He can't read Ludwig at all, and though everyone tells him it's because he can't read anything –let alone the stone faced German – it continues to bug him. Antonio is a happy sort of character; he likes spreading sunshine and brightening other people's day. He doesn't do it all the time, but surely for his best friend he can try and make Ludwig feel better. Everyone is good at something, and often Antonio feels that bringing warmth with him is his gift.

But there's the dilemma. How will he know when is the right time to cheer up Ludwig? With no clear indicator he'll never know when the taller man needs something to brighten his day. So at first Antonio watches, but he hasn't got the stomach for that –it flips and turns and twists when he watches too much, and somehow that makes him uneasy, wary and scared – so Antonio starts to listen, and after a few days he starts to hear.

First is the sighs, but Ludwig sighs a lot so that doesn't seem like much of an indicator at first. But the more he listens, the more Antonio begins to spread paint over a blank canvas. Things start to take shape, and the more defined it gets the more Antonio understands Gilbert's concern. A week into listening Antonio realizes what perhaps might be the root of Ludwig's grief. France is much better at this, so Antonio goes to him first with his suspicions.

Francis confirms it as he lightly plays his fingers through Arthur's hair. Arthur looks about ready for something more than playing, but Antonio doesn't take much notice. He watches as Francis states plainly – Yes, Ludwig is very fond of Feliciano- the facts of the matter as his fingers move steadily lower to Arthur's shoulders, but that is trivial in Antonio's mind.

So he has a reason why Ludwig sighs so much, surly it is unrequited love, because Feliciano is a good catholic boy (so is Lovino, and so is Antonio, but they don't like to talk about that) and has his eye on every skirt in the vicinity. Feliciano likes women, loves how soft they are to the touch, how they coo, and dote on him. Ludwig is the best friend; the one that keeps Feliciano in line, makes sure he gets to class on time, ties his shoes and rescues him when Feliciano accidentally steps on the wrong person's toes.

It seems ironic, because Feliciano loves how women treat him, but Ludwig treats the Italian more tenderly than any girl Antonio has ever met. The blond seems too afraid to break what they have, so he cultivates it and waits.

Gilbert is blind to the problem. He has some clue, because Matthew often chides him for being insensitive, and not noticing such things. Antonio knows that Gilbert notices, but there is no way to tell Ludwig that he's hurting himself, and thus Gilbert by proxy. So Gilbert says nothing, just hopes and waits and lets Matthew treat him in the mean time.

After a week of listening nothing has improved, and the problem plays on Antonio's mind so that he not only listens, he has also started to watch again. He notices the look in Lovino's eyes one day when he is caught staring. He looks perturbed at first, but then things start to click and Antonio can't place the look he receives - knows it isn't good – and Lovino storms off.

Lovino doesn't acknowledge him for three days, in which time Antonio starts to see the lines in Ludwig's face, and how they crease and morph when he is despondent. When Lovino finally does talk to him again, its clipped and quiet. He always pegged Lovino as a screamer, the type that would yell at him and mean every word, only to come back and not apologize, but that isn't what happens.

Lovino pulls him aside one day into the art hall during lunch. By the end of his short speech Lovino is fighting back tears, face in obvious pain and he turns, and walks away. Every time before Antonio has chased him down, so Lovi ran. This time Lovino walks, and Antonio doesn't run to catch him.

A few days later he hears that the Italian is seeing Arthur, and wonders if the two are licking their wounds together and if they even realize it. Francis is chasing skirts - particularly Angelique's – says he doesn't have time for someone as emotionally turbulent as Arthur. It makes Antonio sad, because he thinks that if Arthur and Lovino can be happy together then perhaps he won't feel so miserable. He clings to that idea and continues to keep tabs on Ludwig, its something he has to finish.

Its only when he starts to watch that he notices the strain that Ludwig deals with on a daily basis. He's young, only a sophomore, but with his advanced classes and president of his club he has far to much work and not enough leisure to make him feel better, more at ease. Gilbert scoffs at him when Antonio mentions one day that might be the problem, that Ludwig is drowning himself in work.

To prove him wrong Gilbert and Antonio show him a good night on the town. Its only as Ludwig is drinking with his older brother, smiling and actually enjoying himself that Antonio realizes something. Ludwig is beautiful when he smiles. He's a handsome, strong looking man by nature – it makes him hard to approach for most, he looks stoic, unmovable – but when he's relaxed, when he's in his element and calm, all of that distance fades away, and it is utterly beautiful.

So the objective changes. Its no longer only trying to cheer up Gilbert's little brother, but has evolved into wanting to see Ludwig relaxed, at ease and beautiful, like he always should be. That pursuit starts with Feliciano. The Italian has a way of making Ludwig smile, and at first Antonio strives for that.

He starts visiting more often, and cooks with Feliciano, and they cook so much that Feliciano has to invite Ludwig over to help them finish it all. Feliciano always knocks on Lovino's door, or calls him, but the older brother never answers. Not even a wonderfully cooked meal will entice Lovino from his dislike of Antonio, and that is troubling. Antonio wants Lovino to be happy, but if there is so much bitterness left in him Antonio isn't sure how his relationship with Arthur could possibly be going well.

He leaves it alone, doesn't stick his nose where it no longer belongs.

When Ludwig comes over he brings some of his own food, and they mix it all together and enjoy each others company. Ludwig smiles a lot those days, so Antonio goes out of his way to do it at least once a week, if not twice. He's always been close to the Vargas family, and he's always enjoyed cooking with others, so its not that surprising or strange.

About a month in Antonio asks Gilbert if he things Ludwig is doing better. Gilbert answers with a gruff 'dunno' and slinks off. Its only a few days later that Antonio learns that Matthew has left him for a woman. Antonio wants to approach him, but its impossible. Gilbert doesn't want to talk about it, and when Antonio brings it up he simply stalks off, cursing his name as he goes. Gilbert despite all of his roughness, is a sensitive soul and doesn't take abandonment well.

Two weeks later he notices that he sees more of Ivan around, and Francis – with his head nestled next to Angelique's, more affectionately than he ever was with Arthur – replies that he and Gilbert will probably start dating soon. Antonio wonders if that's how he seems to Lovino and is physically sick for the rest of the day.

Antonio continues his pursuit of Ludwig's elusive smiles. But two months into his dinner plans, Antonio realizes there's a difference in Ludwig's smile. It might have always been there and he never noticed it, or it might have just started, but his smiles look pained. They're still beautiful – like looking up at the night sky and realizing that there is a beautiful moon just waiting for your attention, and you feel guilty, because its been there the whole time, but you've just never taken the time from yourself to look at it – but they start to look painful.

Antonio remembers his first conclusion - that Ludwig was love sick over Feliciano – and wonders if he's only making the situation worse. He decides that he probably is, and drops the plan as fast as he can. Without Feliciano to help him Antonio has no idea how to make Ludwig smile, but he has to start somewhere. He starts again with food. He invites Ludwig to eat with him at lunch and to his surprise the German stutters and excepts.

Every day from then on Antonio cooks the two of them lunch and they eat it together under a tree by the foot ball field. He even goes out of his way to learn the things that Ludwig likes to eat, and cooks those things often too. Ludwig seems appreciative, and insists that he does the cooking every few days. Antonio lets him, because its only fare.

After they eat - if they aren't both too stuffed to move and Antonio doesn't drift off for a siesta, of which Ludwig always wakes him in time - the two of them play foot ball together. Antonio loves to watch as Ludwig concentrates on the game with single minded determination, and he wonders why he never joined the team. But at the same time, Antonio likes to win, so they end up in a heated battle of side shuffles and winning kicks. They bruise each other up, but that's the nature of the game, and Antonio loves every second of it.

Ludwig always stops them in time to grab a quick shower in the locker rooms, and it has become Ludwig's custom to bring an extra pair of clothes to change into. Antonio doesn't mind wandering around in the same grass stained clothes, but he can tell it annoys Ludwig. The blond offers to wash the clothes for him after each day if only Antonio would bring an extra set, and Antonio smiles and happily agrees. There's no reason not to.

As time goes by Antonio starts to think that Ludwig is happier, and that makes him smile. Lovino is no longer skipping the class they share, which is reassuring. Their eyes still don't meet, but Lovino can stand to be in the same room now. Arthur is usually by the Italian's side, though Antonio has yet to see them offering any forms of affection towards one another. But Antonio knows that Lovion is privately a dedicated, caring person, and slowly his worries start to fade. Angelique is a new part of his life now, she doesn't cling to Francis as the Frenchman would like, but he surely clings to her, afraid she'll slip through his fingers. Its somehow reassuring to see Francis chasing, instead of being chased.

Ivan and Gilbert concern him at first, because Ivan is a brute at times, and Gilbert has one hell of a temper of his own. Antonio worries that they will not last the winter, and that they'll end violently in a ditch somewhere, but surprisingly he sees them together often shyly holding each others hands in a way that Antonio can only associate with newly weds. As he spends more time with Ivan he comes to like the large boy, because he makes Gilbert vibrant.

And maybe everything is alright. Time has a way of healing wounds. Maybe one day Antonio will take that final step, will plant his lips on Ludwig's and watch as he stutters, trying to find the right words. Maybe his feelings will be returned, and they'll spend more than lunches together. Ludwig will go to that expensive Ivy league school he wants to, and Antonio will follow behind in his footsteps and get a waiting job so that he can pay for their apartment. Maybe they'll live happily ever after.

It could be two weeks from now, could be a month. But maybe, just maybe, it might be today.

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><p>Thank you for your time. Comments are lovely~<p> 


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